Where I've been. Maybe you've been there too.

So, I’ve been absent from any type of Social Media now for…..I’ve lost count of the weeks. But I know it was a Thursday when I said to myself ‘Enough!’ and switched off. Maybe five, perhaps six or even seven weeks ago when the world was in free fall with Covid-19 and I felt like I was drowning. So much information to keep abreast of, coming from all directions; the juggle of steering the home ship steady and sailing, adjusting course every couple of days, the panic that was emulating from the empty shelves when I went shopping – and me thinking every time I went shopping “I wasn’t worried before, but clearly everyone else is, maybe I should be too!” Then the kids being home from school, cantankerous and bored – while I was still trying to work. That was our low point as a family, and I was escaping more and more into the world of others via Social Media. Snatching a few minutes here when the bickering got too loud, grabbing a quick look at updates there when I just didn’t want to deal with what was happening in my own house. The final straw was when I saw ANOTHER post about how fabulous it was in this time of lock-down to be able to mediate/watch a movie on the couch/tidy the garage and generally spend time on oneself. Really?! I wanted to scream. I was trying to be emotionally available for my family, get work done, worried about family finances, come up with ideas for the kids (okay, they can amuse themselves for a few hours now they’re older, I’m super very lucky, but 12 hours a day is a bit much for them to free-range!), wondering how it was all going to play out and what we needed to do to prepare. Awful. So right then and there I said “no more”, switched off from Social Media and haven’t switched on again.

I’ve spent the last weeks being here, really here, with everything that’s going on, as well as being in more regular contact with family and friends in other places. We’ve all become expert Zoomers! It’s been so much better. Better than better, it’s been wonderful to have meaningful dialogue again with people who used to be very important to me but now live in other places. I’m glad I switched off. It was not making me happier, more informed, more connected, more amused, more of anything, except more angry and anxious. And now as things are moving and evolving again, will I go back to spending time on Social Media? I really don’t know.